Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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