I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
