Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
bring money and cleavage
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
