I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I deserve this hangover.
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