So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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