Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
