I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
someone owes me an orgasm
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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