So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
