so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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