I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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