I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Buhtt sex?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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