Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
