Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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