She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
