Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
