sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
