Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize