I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
