You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
