Have you finally orgasmed yet?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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