you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
