So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
