Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
