I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Dignity is for republicans.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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