someone threw a dead crab at me
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
