i don't like sucking hair
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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