I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
