carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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