my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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