Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
