Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize
