apparently the secret to your success is patron
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize