If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
