how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
But theres a keg here and me gusta
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
