She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
