u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Someone came in the potted fern
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
