fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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