Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
How naked do you want me to be?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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