how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
