I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
And then my night got REAL pukey
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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