I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
