in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
