And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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