I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
