wake up i wanna do it froggy style
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
whose ass print is on the piano?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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