took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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