FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
