were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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