I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
bring money and cleavage
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Randomize
