every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
