Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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