I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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