Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
love makes seman taste better
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize