Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
