How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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