just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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