it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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