I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I think people are normalizing furries
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
