I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
