at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
