Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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